NPG/Columbia
Prince Rogers Nelson (a.k.a. Prince a.k.a. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince a.k.a. The Artist Formerly Known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince) is washed up. I hate to be the one to say it because I unabashedly endorse albums like 1999 the Purple Rain soundtrack and especially Dirty Mind. He killed it at the Superbowl earlier this year and at least 3121 had “Black Sweat.” Unfortunately with the release of Planet Earth Jersey’s finest has officially crossed over from superstar to self-parody. The title track’s schmaltzy lounge-lizard keys open the album as Prince intones in his new preachy persona “Do we want to judge another/Lest we be judged too?/Careful now/The next one might be you.” First single “Guitar” shows a bit more promise as he solos shreds and wanks with the titular instrument. Unfortunately the lyrics here are just plain dumb and not in the fun perverted way that The Kid used to deliver. “The One U Wanna C” dips too far into pop-country territory and while “Future Baby Mama” might sound like vintage Prince on paper it’s actually one of the most boring ballads he’s ever released. Only the funked-up horn-and-handclap-driven “Chelsea Rodgers” shows any sign of The Artist’s old style and swagger but it still feels like another dated throwaway. Unfortunately the best thing about this album is its fancy holographic cover art.
