Re: “Feast or famine” by Josey Vogels My Messy Bedroom September 18-24 2008.
With all these people complaining about not having sex let me share something with you: I’m a 36-year-old male who hasn’t had sex since 2003. As a matter of fact before 2003 I had never had sex at all.
I was an extremely shy overweight and insecure teenager growing up. You put those three things together in a kid and you end up not dating — at all. At the time I was in the most popular band in my high school but that didn’t matter. And once I graduated nothing really changed. In fact it got worse. I became more shy and insecure and eventually became a recluse. It really started to bother me and I started to feel as though I was born with a part of me that was missing. Denying my sexual urges became a favourite pastime as I would secretly mock myself and use musical experimentation as a security blanket. When all my friends would go out to the bar and try to pick up girls that was when I felt most awkward in my skin. I would always be the last one to show up and the first one to leave. I was getting off on being depressed because it was spawning some incredible results in my musical endeavours.
But in the year 2000 something happened. All of a sudden I didn’t care that much about the whole “not getting laid” thing anymore. I realized that I was most definitely a very interesting capable and talented person and was even beginning to see myself as attractive for the first time. That old saying really is true — the older you get the more secure you become with who you are and the less you care about everything else. Doing some astrology research I discovered that I was born an extremely peculiar nervous and withdrawn person but also highly individual sensitive and imaginative. This explained a lot.
I don’t need to have a girlfriend in order to feel content. It turns out that I never have. I’d rather be single. As a matter of fact there’s a small part of me that thinks that people who need constant companionship are kind of pathetic. As soon I stopped caring about it and started to build self-confidence opportunities presented themselves. I started dating a girl for several months in 2003 and it was great. I then discovered that sex is very overrated at least to me.
I remember friends telling me “You are so smart for staying away from girls. All they are is trouble!” Well I don’t know about that. I think both men and women are very capable of starting trouble. All I know is that I’m more secure and happy with who I am these days than ever before and I don’t need a woman by my side in order to feel that. And yes ladies I just happen to be a catch. Go figure.
Mark Fleischhaker
Calgary
