Ironically JCVD’s best parts involve punching
JCVD opens with a whirlwind of gusto and inspiration. Jean-Claude Van Damme (playing himself) kicks and punches his way through a battlefield in a country whose name probably ends with “stan” and director Mabrouk El Mechri captures the intricately choreographed three- or four-minute action sequence in a single take. As Van Damme walks off set he complains to the (film-within-a-film) director that he’s pushing 50 and it’s hard for him to do the whole scene in one take but he’s brutally dismissed as a past-his-prime prima donna. The next 15 or so minutes bleat out his motivations for continually punishing himself — tax problems and a custody battle for his daughter make up the bulk of it — and this is where JCVD starts to lose its strength-of-concept momentum. Anytime Mechri swings his lens toward the ordinary he mistakes banality for honesty and all of the paper thin supporting characters and flat dialogue slowly sap the film’s life (not to mention the audience’s goodwill).
Van Damme has very little bearing on the story after 20 minutes or so anyway. At this point he’s implicated in a Dog Day Afternoon- style post office heist and many of the early pretences to realism are abandoned along with the specific references to Van Damme’s personal life. He simply becomes an aging action film star who’s exploited by a trio of robbers and save for a handful of editing gimmicks and one terrific monologue where he rises to the ceiling in the middle of a scene and directly addresses the camera the film’s sly self-referential tone is forgotten. Though the irony of a man who in one of his films can kill hundreds of soldiers with karate being scared by three middle-aged guys with guns is a fairly clever beat to hit the point is confused by the fact that Mechri’s bank robbers are little more than bumbling B-movie clichés themselves. It’s the visual equivalent of a mixed metaphor.
For all its promise JCVD reeks of missed opportunity. While it has a handful of refreshingly original moments scattered throughout they’re all separated by dry barren stretches. None of the film’s ideas are fully realized none of its characters adequately developed — in a way it falls prey to the same foibles as Van Damme’s brainless action thrillers just an order of magnitude removed. Van Damme’s hope that this film may propel him into a legitimate dramatic career can be seen in every frame but a quick IMDB search reveals that his latest project is Universal Soldier III: A New Beginning. ‘Nuff said.
