Memorial tattoos permanently mark your memories of loved ones
The meanings behind tattoos are as diverse as the people whose bodies they adorn. Contrasting a sea of butterflies Chinese script and permanent markers of teenage rebellion are pieces of body art that strike a much deeper chord. Memorial tattoos are a popular form of closure and remembrance for those grieving the loss of a loved one.
Dave Fried an artist at Deadly Tattoos in Calgary says there’s no particular trend for memorial tattoos. Hell they’re not even always in memory of people.
“I’ve probably tattooed just as many animal memorials for passed away dogs and cats as humans” he says.
It is important to feel out how a person is coping with a loss when they come to get tattooed says Fried.
“I’ve had people come in and they almost break into tears when they’re talking about the tattoo and maybe that’s not the best time to get tattooed” says Fried adding that for larger pieces he advises clients to wait and really think about the design before dedicating something that large to a person.
Heather Setka 32 paid tribute to her cousin Rhonda who died from leukemia five years ago by getting a sunflower tattooed on the inside of her left wrist.
“She was probably my best friend when I was growing up” says Setka. “We were born exactly nine months apart.”
As children the pair were inseparable and went to college together. Rhonda had a tattoo of a sunflower on her ribs but for Setka the inspiration for her tribute was more than just emulation of her cousin’s ink.
“For one thing it was her favourite flower but it captures her essence too. She was just a really bright vivacious person so I feel like the sunflower embodies her.”
The placement of the tattoo was also a strategic decision for Setka. The flower is situated over her pulse which allows Setka to keep her cousin close to her heart at all times.
“Thinking about her gives me strength” says Setka adding that Rhonda was in the military and was a triathlete. “She was a physically strong person and she was also a really mentally emotionally strong person so I got it somewhere where I can see it at all times so when I need strength I can tap into her memory.”
Jennifer Nicholas 25 will be adding a sixth tattoo to her body following the recent death of her mother. Her tattoo artist has advised her to wait a year as she did for her father’s memorial tattoo to allow her time to grieve. The cause of her mother’s death has yet to be determined.
Her tattoo will be an angel kneeling on a pansy as her mother loved to collect angels and pansies were her favourite flower.
“I think it was worth the wait. It gave me time to not just rush in and make an impractical decision about something that’s going to be on my body forever” she says.
Nichlolas’s memorial tattoo for her father is a replica of his Knights of Columbus sword with a green ribbon around it representing the Canadian Transplant Association of which he was the Alberta president. Following a transplant of his right lung her father contracted pneumonia and passed away due to complications.
“I love tattoos that’s a part of my life and it’s a way to physically have them with me every day and remember them” she says.
Nicholas says memorial tattoos are a way of healing or feeling empathy.
“Some people get numbed by death and it’s very hard to deal with. Sometimes you need that little bit of a rush to feel that way again and that little bit of suffering because maybe that person suffered” she says.
For Spencer Brown 30 and P.J. Lavergne 29 their matching tattoos were never intended to be memorials. Brown Lavergne and their friend Dan Winnick were all going their separate ways and decided to commemorate their friendship with matching sheriff badges based on their favourite movie The Good The Bad and The Ugly. The badges are placed over each of their hearts to symbolize the friendship.
It took three consecutive years for the trio to finally get inked due to financial reasons.
“Poor Spencer walked around for a year with a sheriff’s badge that said ‘bad’ on it and had to explain the significance of it” says Lavergne who is the “ugly” sheriff.
Winnick returned to Calgary in June and finally got his “good” sheriff tattoo but while riding his bicycle two weeks later he was struck by a car. He died after being in a coma for a month.
“If we hadn’t gotten the ball rolling on it when he was around I don’t think we necessarily would have gotten what we did” says Lavergne. “It’s essentially just three friends that thought this would be a hilarious idea because we love the movie so much.”
Since his death Winnick’s family has followed suit and had his “good” sheriff’s badge tattooed on them.
“The flattering thing is having other people pick it up especially his parents and his brother who don’t have any tattoos” says Brown. “His mom said too that she was flattered that ‘right away we knew that he would be the good sheriff.’”
