PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) There’s somethin’ fishy goin’ on with you Pisces peoples right now. You shouldn’t be sick of water but you is. What do the gilled ones do when the ocean becomes a bore? They try gettin’ high by breathin’ air and crawlin’ up on shore. This week as is often the case the best solution is evolution!
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Some folks think the idea an Aries could ever be borin’ is completely foreign but looks like life’s gotcha snorin’. Pick up your existence turn it upside down shake it some and see what falls to the ground. It may seem like lots of work to do but that ground’ll be covered with change that’ll be shiny ’n’ new!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Why do you bulls start gettin’ lazy when you’ve got all you think you need. That’s exactly when you should take a chance get out and explore risk a lot more and most of all sing and dance. It’s time to have a blast ’cause the karmic conditions are currently conducive for kookiness and that ain’t gonna last!
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) When financial troubles come to an end it’s funny how all of a sudden you’ve got all kinda friends. You’re naturally the social type but don’t get caught up and suckered in by fairweather friends’ hype. Let ’em praise admire ’n’ respect you but remember most of all you should still be protectin’ your neck too!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) You ain’t gonna have nothin’ to fear once the weekend finally gets here. That’s when the cosmos’ll take a good look then say “That crab really cooks!” and send some serious gifts your way. Whether or not you truly believe accept the presents you’re about to receive!
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) You can start to be a real jerk when you’re not havin’ enough fun at your work. That’s ’cause when you don’t enjoy what you’re doin’ your insides begin boilin’ ’n’ stewin’. Thankfully this week you’ll discover again why your work is a source of joy and not pain!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) Bein’ disappointed usually ain’t the worst since it’s so often a positive thing that your bubble’s been burst. It could cause you pain ’n’ confusion but it woulda been much worse had you maintained your delusion. You oughta laugh instead of cry ’cause you’re no longer holdin’ onto a lie!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) You Libras know all about life ups ’n’ downs goin’ aways and comin’ arounds. It’s not so much an intellectual exercise as experience you’ve learned to apply. That’s gonna be super important this week. If you have a problem that gets you sweatin’ it’s only because there’s some experience you’re forgettin’!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Tryin’ to keep up with the Joneses and their smartphoneses’ll only hollow out your boneses. You know competin’ on the shiny level needs a constant re-up on that contract with the devil. Well when this ride’s over you won’t be worried about what you lacked but whether you made it to that point with your soul intact!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) If you’re undertakin’ this particular mission to show off your awesome and maybe get some action you may have some luck. With Jupiter goin’ direct in Cancer and Venus enterin’ Aquarius your chances of success are high — but so is the random factor. While you’re pretty much a lock to be gettin’ some nookie it won’t be how or where you’d normally lookie!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) Stubbornness ain’t just somethin’ to expect from the bull. You goats can be just as difficult to push or pull. Sometimes you’re so determined to stand your ground you have all four hooves sharing a sliver of rock juttin’ out from the side of a straight vertical cliff far away from anyone else. If you want anyone to care it’s up to you to move away from there!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) You’re about to embark on a brand new quest and like any odyssey it’ll be quite the test. That’s why before you become an Aquarius at large you should take all the time you need this weekend to fully recharge. Fill up now on energy so you’re prepared for both your foes and your enemies!
