IF YOU CAN’T SAY SOMETHING NICE, PART TWO
Let’s continue to say nice things about some of the bad films I saw in 2016! Last time, I heaped faint praise on the deliriously silly Gods of Egypt, which is much more fun than it’s terrible reputation might suggest. Are all the films on this list going to be as insane as Gods?
Alas, no. Some of them are complete snorefests. Like this week’s entry…
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2
Oh. Oh Jeez. Why? Actually, scratch that. We know why. Because none of Nia Vardalos’ other projects ever had as much success as her breakout hit, Greek Wedding 1. Her original flick hit like a breath of fresh air, with the ethnic specificity of her very personal (true) story coinciding with the experiences of a vast number of immigrant families, delighted to finally have a story that reflected their lives. Big Fat 1 was new, exciting, and funny.
It was also 14 years ago.
Our gutsy heroine has already completed her story arc, and got her happily-ever-after ending. She’s still blissfully married, so now what? Well, there’s another wedding now. Her parents, I think. Hard to say — this sequel has the Rohypnol-like ability to make you completely forget the entire experience as soon as it ends. It brings back all the auxiliary characters (I think), and settles on a joyless retread of the 2002 original. It might be, amongst some stiff competition, the most pointless movie of 2016.
Can anything save this faded Xerox copy of a movie? Well …
THE BEST BIT:
John Stamos shows up.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Sorry.
John Stamos turns up in a bit part. He doesn’t save the movie (Hells Bells, how could he?), he just appears, smiles a bit, and injects a tiny dose of effortless charisma into this flatlining movie. Even the film itself seems to stop for a second and drink him in. “Hey, is that John Stamos?” it seems to ask. “Cool! He’s awesome!” (Long Pause) “Welp, let’s get back to this trigonometry exam, or pumpkin festival, or wedding, or whatever the fuck it is we’re doing. Yeesh.”