Cheap and cheerful sex toy ideas

I know you wanted to get your sweetie that expensive leather harness and strap-on dildo for Christmas this year. Or that fancy $300 gold-plated vibrator. But darn you went and blew your holiday budget on a new microwave for mom and power tools for dad. Not to worry.

There are plenty of affordable sex toys out there and I don’t mean the crappy over-priced ones in some of the less shall we say tasteful sex shops out there. You just have to get creative. And know where to look. Like the dollar store.

How about a neon-green feather duster? Fun for tickling and teasing. Toss on an apron and some high heels and nothing else and you can play maid.

If you’re into role-playing most dollar stores carry an array of sheriff toys to suit every budget. The deluxe $5.99 kit I splurged on comes complete with badge handcuffs and a billy bat with a ridged handle so it doubles as a prop and a dildo (though you might want to slip a condom on it first given the crap they’re finding in toys these days). Arrest your sweetie handcuff him to the bed and read him his rights.

Water pistols are also fun sex toys. Great for water sports without the pee (of course you can fill it up with whatever you like) or to stage a private wet T-shirt contest. Water pistols come in a variety of shapes sizes and prices. I found a lion-shaped gun that spits water out its mouth. It might be just the thing to bring out the animal in you.

If you want to experiment with a little S&M or bondage but you’re not sure you’re ready to make the often hefty investment for the gear try a dollar-store skipping rope. Use it to tie your partner up or turn it into a lasso and play Wild West.

Want to give your partner a good spanking? Why pay big bucks for those fancy leather paddles at intimidating specialty sex shops when you can buy one of those paddle-and-ball games at the dollar store. Simply detach the rubber ball and start paddling. If you discover spanking isn’t your thing you can always re-attach the ball and still get hours of fun out of your purchase.

I found a nice black nylon blindfold at the drugstore for a couple dollars. It’s made to wear while you’re sleeping but you can put it on your partner while they’re tied up with the skipping rope and you’re spanking them with your new wooden paddle.

Looking for romance? For a couple bucks back at the dollar store you can pick up some baby oil a few scented candles and maybe a bubble-blowing kit. Throw in a couple Mr. Big bars (two for a buck!) just to make him feel good. Splurge on a $10 bottle of wine and you’ve got a whole night of sex fun for under $20.

The other great thing about buying your sex toys at the dollar store is that nobody knows you’re buying sex toys which is perfect if you’re shy about this kind of thing. You can even find cheap makeshift sex toys lying around the house. Scarves make great blindfolds or wrist and ankle ties. Strings of fake pearls can be picked up at a thrift shop and worn naked for that cheesy centrefold look. Run them across her privates for a little er crotch massage. (Be sure to clean them well first!)

Clothespins make great nipple clamps. I find the plastic ones don’t pinch as hard.

A rather talented friend of mine put a pair of chopsticks to good use by inserting them in her vagina (cautiously!) and attempting to feed her lover with them. Work those PC muscles girl!

Fruits and veggies are always a fun economic alternative. Condom-covered cucumber anyone? Or how about offering your sweetie a chocolate sundae? Served off your naked belly!

Apparently office supplies will even do in a pinch. One woman I know says she once got creative with a pen when she found herself getting hot and bothered in her cubicle at the office. Another woman who repairs old books for a living told me she’s found new uses for the electric eraser she uses to rub out pencil marks in old books. She keeps her pants on naturally. This is her professional tool we’re talking about after all.

You don’t have to spend a fortune to get your sweetie (or yourself) some nifty sex toys this Christmas. You just need a little imagination.

Happy holidays!