Men find self-consciousness a turn off
It was a Cosmo article of course. I really should stop reading that crap. Mind you then I would have missed out on this gem: a piece on how a gal can look great naked in front of a guy even if she feels a bit bashful in her birthday suit.
One suggestion is to take the sheet with you when you get out of bed so — if he’s not too busy shrieking from sudden exposure — he’ll notice how sexy you look with it strategically draped around your body like a Renaissance sculpture as you head off for a pee. The article actually encourages you to go to museums to study the draping on statues to get it right. Sheesh.
Other strategies include propping yourself up on the pillows at just the right angle so your boobs don’t look saggy or lying on your back so your tummy looks flat. And we wonder why women have issues about their bodies and why so many of us (obviously less skilled in the art of strategic sheet draping) just hurry to get the lights off as quick as possible or whip our clothes off and dive under the covers the first time we get naked with a guy.
It’s sad really. Especially since most guys I informally surveyed say they’re just thrilled to have a real live naked woman in front of them. As one particularly sweet guy said “Don’t worry most guys are thinking ‘Wow you’re naked and in my bed how did I get so lucky?’” In fact this same guy told me that women’s discomfort and dissatisfaction with their own bodies is one of the most frustrating things about sleeping with a woman. “I’ve never met a woman who was completely happy about her body” he said. “I mean it’s not that guys aren’t self-conscious about their bodies but it’s not what we’re exactly focusing on the first time we’re naked with you.”
No they’re too busy focusing on our breasts. “Hey what can I say” answered one guy in defense of men’s fixation on women’s breasts. “They’re fun when you’re having sex. They jiggle and they give you something to hold onto while you’re doing it.”
Most guys admitted they have very specific tastes when it comes to boobies but they almost all said that shape is more of an issue than size. How well they work with the body they’re attached to and how a woman dresses them up are also important. “How a woman presents her boobs in clothes says a lot about her” offered one guy. “Even fake boobs can look good if they’re in clothes.”
Actually only one guy was keen on naked fake breasts. In fact he was so keen that he said if he could have silicone breasts made to mount on the dash of his car he would. He also admitted he’s been single for awhile.
Most guys when asked what they think of women’s bodies simply replied “They’re good” or “Mmmmm…” if they were feeling more articulate. Most agreed that exploring women’s bodies is more fun. “They’re smoother and there’s more stuff to play with” offered one guy. “It’s that male adventurer thing” said another. “We can’t just look and appreciate we have to get in there and explore.”
When I push for specifics every guy has his own little thing. Legs butts and waists are still popular though one guy admitted that sometimes it strikes him as odd that the two pieces of flesh that make up a bum can be such a turn-on. One guy was particularly fond of belly buttons and “the love trail” — the line from the navel to the pubic hair often marked with a fine trickle of hair. “It’s like a map down to the goodies” he said.
Most guys said they don’t like women too skinny or too fat but added that there is a large range of acceptability between the two. Funnily enough many of the respondents seemed perplexed by women’s agony over cellulite. “A lot of women seem to worry about celluloid” said one guy “but I’m not really sure what it is.” Another guy said: “Oh yeah cellulite women get it in their thighs or something don’t they?”
“Obviously some guys notice cellulite and don’t like it” said an honest fellow “but I’m more concerned with the overall look.” A common sentiment. While other things like lips eyes and voices also received honourable mentions at the top of probably every list was confidence how a woman carries herself naked. As one guy said “A naked woman in a morgue is not so sexually attractive at least not to most guys.”