CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
“You can’t cheat an honest man” and “nothin’ in life is free” are two things the Devil don’t want you to see. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so quick to act when He asks you to sign his li’l pact. Unless you’re lookin’ to live in a lake of fire expect to work for what you desire!
LEO (July 23 – Aug. 22)
What are the first four letters in the word harmony? That’s right “harm.” Well that’s what too much harmony’ll do to you this week. You fire signs thrive on the friction and heat created when opposites meet. No matter how easy your lot this week you gotta stir up the pot!
VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)
Lookin’ for love is easy to do — the trick’s gettin’ love to look for you. Well humans habitually hanker after what they can’t have so it ain’t such a bad idea to up ’n’ say “see ya.” Attraction works when you don’t push you pull — so play hard to get but be available!
LIBRA (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
If you wanna win the comin’ fight and not go out like Custer this week you’ve gotta stockpile all the energy that you can muster. Take time by yourself to cook up plots ’n’ plans and get as much rest as you possibly can. Then when you step into the ring you’ll be so prepared you won’t worry ’bout a thing!
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
You’re like a starvin’ guy in a vegetable garden. If you didn’t know how to use the bounty before you you’d slowly starve thinkin’ there weren’t nothin’ you could do. Whether you know it or not right now you could feed ’cause under your nose you’ve got all you need!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
This weekend you’ll discover the secret of power and wealth: take what you want whether by broad daylight or stealth. Now don’t get all hung up on it and think it’s a sin ’cause it’s a Darwinian world baby — someone’s gotta win. Why not do what you gotta do to make sure it’s you?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Success gives you a certain cachet and folks’ll actually listen to what you have to say. Use your podium to tell the masses that they won’t get anywhere tryin’ to kick each other’s asses. Show ’em what you learned on Sesame Street — co-operation’s a strategy you just can’t beat!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Most folks are happy just to change their wardrobe or get a new ’do but not you. You ain’t satisfied till everything old has died been buried and replaced. Don’t worry. Some people’ll tell you it’s a shameful waste but they just don’t understand you’re simply redefinin’ your taste!
PISCES (Feb. 19 – March 20)
From the man who brought you such classics as “Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves” “Stare into the abyss too long and it begins to stare back” and that family fave “God is dead” we’re proud to present this week’s No. 1 Nietzsche hit: “Fight not monsters lest ye become a monster yourself!”
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
The cosmos is a li’l concerned lately ’cause you’ve been actin’ waaay too conservative. Where’s that crazy madcap kooky kid we once knew who did whatever the heck they wanted to do? Show the universe you haven’t started to slip — no matter what you feel like doin’ this week let ’er rip!
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
“Do as I say not as I do” has special implications this week for you. Although at times everyone’s a hypocrite bein’ one this week’ll land you in a bucket o’ brown stuff. Take special care to be honest beyond compare or you’ll likely get lured into the dragon’s lair!
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
It don’t take too long for you Geminis to get bored and as that feelin’ grows it can’t be ignored. Now normally it’s easy for you simply to switch to something new but this time there’ll be trouble if that’s what you do. Oh well. That you need change is just a fact so you might as well go ahead ’n’ act!
You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.
