Glenbow CEO will be missed times ten

Glenbow Museum’s 10 advantages of no longer having Jeffrey Spalding as CEO:

1. Not having to find storage space for the promised gifts of important artworks that will now be revoked.

2. Not having to deal with the embarrassing attention of having someone with the Order of Canada at the helm of our cultural institution.

3. Saving us all from the annoying controversy over thought-provoking art.

4. Not having the tiresome responsibilities that come with a raised profile within the Canadian arts community.

5. Saving the hassle of cleaning up after more and more visitors coming to the gallery to see contemporary visual art.

6. Going green by scrapping plans for a larger facility — smaller building means smaller ecological footprint right?

7. Relieving the excitement generated by Spalding’s tenure that might be hazardous to our health — heart attacks and migraines people!

8. Not having to put up with quite so many contemporary artists — they’re weird. Anyways who needs them?

9. Cultural and institutional dialogue possibility for new collaborations and experimental knowledge? No thanks! Being able to keep the same old ways of doing things means way less work.

10. Aim low and be rewarded by the comforting steadiness of mediocrity!

Bree Horel