FFWD REW

Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of March 12 2009

PISCES (Feb. 19 – March 20)

There’s somethin’ fishy goin’ on with you Pisces peoples right now. You shouldn’t oughta be sick of water but you is. What do fishes do when the ocean’s a bore? They start breathin’ air and crawl up on shore. This week the best solution to ennui is your evolution!

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Some people think the idea’s foreign that an Aries could ever be borin’ but right now life’s gotcha snorin’. You need to pick up your existence turn it upside down give it a shake and see what falls to the ground. It may seem like lots of work to do but the ground’ll be covered with change that’s shiny ’n’ new!

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

You bulls are a funny breed ’cause you start gettin’ lazy when you’ve got all you need. That’s exactly when you should take a chance explore risk more run sing and dance. Now’s the time to have your adventures ’cause it’ll be too late when you’re wearin’ adult diapers ’n’ dentures!

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

It’s always the way that when financial troubles come to an end all of a sudden you’ve got lotsa friends. Now you’re naturally the social type but don’t get caught up in their fair-weather hype. Let ’em fawn over admire ’n’ respect you but remember you still need to protect your neck too!

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

Bein’ disappointed usually ain’t the worst ’cause often it’s good that your bubble’s been burst. It may cause you a bit of pain ’n’ confusion but it woulda been worse had you maintained your delusion. You should laugh instead of cry — you’re no longer holdin’ onto a lie!

LEO (July 23 – Aug. 22)

You lions ain’t gonna have nothin’ to fear once the weekend finally gets here. That’s when the cosmos’ll take a good look then say “That cat really cooks!” and send gifts your way. Whether or not you truly believe accept the presents you’re about to receive!

VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

You can start to become a jerk when you don’t have enough fun at your work. That’s ’cause when you don’t enjoy what you’re doin’ your insides begin boilin’ ’n’ stewin’. Thankfully this week you’ll rediscover again why your work is a source of joy and not pain!

LIBRA (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

You’re a Libra so you know ’bout the balance of life — its ups ’n’ downs how it goes and then comes around. It ain’t an intellectual exercise but practical knowledge you’ve earned which always applies. So if you’ve got a problem and you start to sweat it it’s only because you’ve begun to forget it!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Tryin’ to keep up with the Joneses and their DVDs SUVs ’n’ cellular phoneses’ll send shivers through your boneses. ’Cause you know to compete on that bling-bling level you gotsta sell your soul to the devil. Well when life’s done it ain’t about what you lacked but whether you made it or not with your soul intact!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

If you’re undertakin’ this particular mission to further your financial ambitions then plainly put you’re dreamin’ and wishin’. With this gig the only payments you’ll see are weekly instalments of ell-oh-vee-ee. Of course someone’s heartfelt thanks can be worth more than all the money in all the world’s banks!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Stubbornness ain’t restricted to the mule or the bull ’cause you can be just as hard to push or to pull. Sometimes you’re so determined to stand your ground you don’t even listen to loved ones around you. This week you wanna think twice ’bout disregardin’ their advice!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

You’re about to embark on a brand new quest and like any odyssey it’ll be quite the test. That’s why before you become Aquarius at large you should take this weekend to thoroughly recharge. Fill up now on energy so you’re prepared for your foes and enemies!

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