GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)
Whew! Thankfully it’s all over for now. Even though it’s really only a truce after a battle that brutal it feels more like a win. Instead of all that celebrating do yourself some recuperating. You don’t know how long this cease-fire will last before the guns begin to blast!
CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)
Look you can’t figure love out. There’s no way to take it apart to see how it works and if you’re dumb enough to try there’s almost no chance you’ll put it back together. You can’t dissect a living specimen and keep it alive so ask yourself: is it a lab rat or a pet mouse?
LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)
You’re the fire sign supreme and when you’re on the scene you’re a blaze of glory. This week it’ll be the same ol’ story: because of your warmth brightness and radiance you’ll attract many to your fireside circle who will come for a look. Just make sure they’re bringing something to cook!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)
You’ve been a good kid up till now and you’ve managed to keep outta too much trouble so far. Keep it up just a little longer and you may get a treat for being so well behaved. Otherwise you could end up in juvy with your head shaved and the big kid on the block eyein’ your cute butt. Scared straight yet or what?
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)
You Librans can be pretty lame especially when you’re held back by worries about social conventions grace compromise and all those other niceties the rest of the world seems to have dispensed with. Sometimes the greatest opportunities come with following your impulses. Sure someone’s feelings may get hurt but then some people feel hurt if you say “Hello” wrong. What does it matter to you?
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)
So far you’ve been on the right track and working hard to realize your vision but now it seems you think you’re too good to work for it. Oh yeah? Well listen wisenheimer nobody ever got nothin’ for free and if you try that’s exactly what you’re gonna see – nothin’.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)
You might think you have to resort to dirty tricks to get what you want but it’s not necessarily so. Get to know ’em instead of tryin’ to blow ’em. They’ll give it up but only after they’re sure you’re who you say you are. They’re not dumb and all that B.S. won’t get you too far.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)
Aw quit being so grumpy y’old billy goat! So you’re not the boss anymore. So what? It’s not like no one listens to you any longer. Your two bits is still worth 25 cents around here. You just gotta learn that you ain’t the only one with purchasin’ power. Those crazy kids these days with their dad-burned democracy!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)
The word “lunatic” comes from the word Moon and seein as how it’s square to you this week you’re bound to do something really silly. Yep if you walk where you aren’t looking you’ll probably step in a pile of shaving cream. At least you’ll have yourself convinced that’s what it is anyway. Who’s gonna argue with you?
PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)
Everything was floating along fine. Then you had to go do something to sink that boat and now you have nothin’. Or so you think. Take a look at the Titanic. It’s worth much more now that it’s been at the bottom of the ocean than it ever was or would have been otherwise. Who says you can’t cash in on a disaster too?
ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)
Backed into a corner with no escape! Trapped like a rat in a trap! There’s only one thing to do . . . bite anything that comes too close! Even though in the frenzy a friendly finger might get chewed by you it’s the only way you’ll get outta this predicament alive so do whatcha gotta do!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)
Now you’ve got a problem. Either your laziness is interfering with your love life or your love life is interfering with your laziness! Looks like you’re gonna have to get rid of either one or the other. By the way maybe sleeping on it ain’t exactly the best way to decide.
You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com
