Cruisin’ the Cosmos

Week of July 9 2009


You really want it? Well there’s only one way you’ll get it crabcakes: effort and sacrifice. In other words you’ve gotta give it up and work it baby! Sounds like fun huh? Well it would be if you were inspired to do it. Are you?

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

Sometimes bein’ the king or queen of the castle can be more hassle than anything else. Like after the weekend when it needs repairs. Do you know how much the renovations on a 60-room home with a courtyard a running moat and a two-cart drawbridge can run you? Looks like it’s time to conquer another neighbour.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

Well it sure didn’t take too long after you made a killin’ for every Tom Dick and Hyaena to come outta the woodwork did it? Watch those crafty mothers closely. That way when they try to pull somethin’ you’ll be ready and waitin’. As the scavengers circle start preparin’ not hatin’!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

One of you has vision. One of you is a hard worker with business sense. A: “Oh no! You got your dreams in my ambition!” B: “No you got your ambition all over my dreams!” A and B: “Mmmmm tastes great! Let’s stick together and make a million!”

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

Come on now! Change’ll happen no matter how you feel about it and that’s just a fact of life. Take it gracefully. Let go. If you don’t it’ll tear you up inside until you do. Why would you wanna put yourself through that? Are you some kinda weirdo? Hmmm. Well you are a Scorpio…


You’re happy enough with the way things turned out since it’s not like you’re greedy or anything. Maybe that’s why the fat cats at Cosmic Coincidence Control have a big payoff planned for you… Ooops! Well now the cat’s outta the bag make sure you don’t count your chickens before they hatch or you could end up with egg on your face!


You’re charming and attractive. People like you. You’ve been ambitious in pursuing your dreams and you find most folks are happy to help. Besides you know how to take care of business. So what the hell are you worried for? You’re about to seriously score!

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

There’s somethin’ you have to realize while you’re down here on Earth: there’s no escapin’ “The Man.” His verdict is comin’ down soon and it doesn’t look too good but there is a wild card: you! You’re a quick thinker and some of your fancy dancin’ll have his pants in knots and because he’s too slow He’ll be forced to let you go. For now…


Are you sure you wanna give up happiness and stability just because you have a short attention span? Change is a good thing but sometimes it’s better to stick it out for a while especially if you’re not sure you’d be OK with never havin’ it this good again. It could happen dear friend…


You’ll feel super sexy this weekend while the moon’s in your sign and shinin’ a li’l extra light on your inner loveliness. Enjoy it while it’s here ’cause it won’t last too long. It’s not that you’ll get ugly. It’s just that you’re the optimistic sort and under Luna’s light they’ll look a lot cuter than your senses would normally report!


If you think about it luck is a lot like water. It nourishes what you’ve already planted by seepin’ deep into the earth and feedin’ the roots to nourish the shoots and ensure growth is constant. If you don’t think about then your earth is too compact and hard to be able to absorb it buddy. In that case it’ll just stay on the surface and make everything muddy!


So you’ve been enlightened. So what? You think that makes you a “higher” being or somethin’? Sure it may look that way but only if you put yourself up on a pedestal. The higher up it is the further you’ll fall – like when somebody who ain’t payin’ attention to where they’re going at all bumps into it and knocks you down to the ground!