FFWD REW

Cruisin’ the Cosmos

Week of Nov 5 2009

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

The Chinese don’t really use the same word for “crisis” and “opportunity” but so what? Homer Simpson does and if you don’t have a word for both you better borrow his coinage “crisitunity.” You’re gonna be usin’ it a heck of a lot this week!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)

Uh oh. Looks like Easy Street takes a detour over to the wrong side of the tracks and it doesn’t matter if you’ve got a GPS in an SUV it ain’t a fun place to be. You’ll be OK though. Just keep your wheels rollin’ the windows up the doors locked and your eyes peeled and you’ll generate your own protective force field!

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)

Congrats Cap! You’ve successfully climbed another craggy peak but before you go off and swiftly seek a new summit to attack take a sec to stand back and soak up the adulation. While you do you can gather enough information so you’ll be properly prepared for the next challenge you’ll be facin’!

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

Don’t worry Aquarius. Someone as radical as you is bound to get rounded up as a suspect. There’s nothin’ you can do except be on your best behaviour so that when it all comes out truth’ll be your saviour. Until then you just might as well enjoy all the attention!

PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)

In the immortal words of Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock “Joy and pain/ Like sunshine and rain” and this weekend your karmic forecast is callin’ for a 70 per cent chance of showers. Ain’t no use ragin’ against the precipitation ’cause the sun’s gonna show its face again. You just have to dress a li’l warmer until it does.

ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)

Were you aware there’s a traitor in our midst? One who uses faux friendships as a tool towards a selfishly desired outcome? A person who is superficially intimate until the opportunities presented by the strategic relationship dry up? Don’t worry they’ll be dealt with soon. For enemies like that the cosmos hires a goon!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)

This week out with the old and in with the new is the deal for you. Kinda like bein’ on the receivin’ end of resuscitation. You’ll choke a bit spit up some and come to all dizzy with some weirdo’s lips wrapped around yours. But dammit you’re breathin’ again! And isn’t that all that really matters at the moment?

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)

You should be happy to know karma has declared you out-of-season. So after a period of pain it’s time to actively pursue some pleasure. Whether it’s of the physical intellectual or emotional sort is entirely your choosin’ and readin’ a good book is as effective as carousin’ and boozin’. You just need some fun!

CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

A new age calls for a new wage and a new way of makin’ money. If you can master the paradigm switch you’ll be able to switch a pair o’ dimes for every one you presently earn and double your income with extra to burn. Sure you’ll encounter lots of trouble but you’ll be able to live in a much bigger bubble!

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

Like a Greek goddess gone crazy with passion hurl thunderbolts and send down a rain of fire upon your creation! Destroy that which you made show all that your power’s unsurpassed and you’ll literally have yourself a blast. But what’ll be even more impressive than that is buildin’ it again only better from scratch!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

When times are tense emotion has no trouble jumpin’ to a conclusion just to have some kinda solution to the irritation caused by the situation. Of course emotion ain’t known for thinkin’ things through. That’s a job for intellect to do. This weekend let the latter make the call on what action to take if any at all!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

You scale people are pretty hip to the universe’s power to keep things in balance but what about the power in yourself? What about your talents? Unless you believe in that immense pool of resources and in makin’ the world a more beautiful place your fate will be to fall flat on your face!

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.

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