FFWD REW

Addiction personified

Fuel pits a man against his demon

Nearly seven years have past but Jerod Blake still vividly remembers the night he turned his back on addiction. He was only 25 years old when he found himself — desperate and alone —lying in bed with a noose tied loosely around his neck and only two options open to him. He chose sobriety.

“It’s said an addict will end up in one of three places at some point during his life — jail an institution or dead. I had already been to jail and several institutions so the only thing left for me was death” says Blake.

In his early 20s and spurred by addiction Blake plunged headfirst into a spiral of deceit self-loathing and self-deprecation. He started drinking because it was “cool” but it soon became a respite from the anger and resentment he felt towards his parents and himself. When he finally decided to kick the habit on Labour Day in 2002 he had not seen his family in six years. Still he knew he needed their help if he was ever going to get sober.

“The summer of 2002 was a really dark time for me” he remembers. “I was spiritually bankrupt and empty. I even had trouble getting out of bed sometimes.” That summer he says was characterized by countless binges and benders. “I put myself in situations that weren’t safe; that could have had a huge impact on my health and on my life.” After spending time in jail on DUI charges Blake knew he had hit rock bottom. Scared he might wind up not in jail but six feet under he showed up at his father’s house to ask for help. His father welcomed him with open arms and within the week Blake was at rehab ready to start the next chapter of his life.

Fuel his first foray into playwriting is a provocative look at the world of an addict and is loosely based on his own experience.

The play is slightly different from conventional works that focus on the struggles of a junkie — it personifies addiction giving it a personality and emotions of its own. The narrator/addiction played by Cameron Lee Gerlitz is a charismatic though pompous “author of great tragedies” currently working on the story of Jonathon King and the details of his terrible battle with addiction. As time passes the narrator’s facade begins to unravel and he reveals his true colours. Eventually he loses control of the addict he has created and as Jonathon overcomes his addiction the narrator finds himself addicted to Jonathon — his own creation.

Dustin MacDougall who plays the addict Jonathon King says the reason he wanted to be a part of this production is that it hits close to home for him as well. His grandfather was an alcoholic who died of kidney and liver cancer at the age of 65. “He never told anyone he had cancer and my family never confronted him about his drinking” says Dustin. Being part of this production he explains has helped him understand his grandfather’s addiction.

The silence that surrounded Dustin’s grandfather’s addiction is something that happens all too often says Blake. “That’s how addiction survives. Nobody talks about it; it lives in the dark.”

Fuel he says is inspired by his own battle with addiction but in reality depicts the struggle that all addicts face. He says it’s important to draw this struggle into the open and to get people talking about it.

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