Cruisin’ the Cosmos – Week of June 9 2011


Don’t be believin’ you’ve got the better of your double-header. Your two sides are ahem second nature and you’re pretty much stuck with ’em. Hey it ain’t all bad! At least when you don’t know which personality is gonna take over life is full of surprises! Treat this week like it’s your birthday present — even if it sucks just smile say thanks and find a use for it. It’ll come in handy sooner or later.


You nutty romantics! You figure sacrificing everything for the sake of true love even worldly goods and the means of their attainment is one of humanity’s nobler traits. Yeah well try using that as an excuse for coming home late after a night on the prowl and you could find that in these days of democracy nobility is a bummer.

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

You’re a fire sign but this week with the moon square to you you’ll feel like it’s been put out. In fact you’ll be so down you’ll do anything to get up. That’s good ’cause after taking a new direction this weekend every step will feed that fire until it’s bright again and like moths to a flame the flying fairies of fortune will help you find your way.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

Only someone you love can really annoy you ’cause you actually care about them. Well considering the sheer volume of people in this city alone who bug you you must have one helluva huge heart honeypie. Is that what you’ve been tryin’ to hide all this time? Well we’re onto you now so you might as well show us the whole thing.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

To the victor go the spoils but to you this week it’ll feel more like you got the spoiled instead. That’s cool. Just consider it compost and throw it on the heap. You can use it to grow bigger and better things next season if you’re not too scared to spread it around!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

When a scorpion is surrounded and threatened by insurmountable odds it will sting itself to death. Before you turn your tail on yourself and try to end it all you should think about the fact practically every spiritual discipline believes in reincarnation. It ain’t ever over baby. And what’s worse you could come back as a lower form of life like a mime or an Elvis impersonator. Eeeewwww!


Sometimes when things are changing quickly around you life begins to feel like you’re stuck in a Salvador Dali painting and your thinking gets a bit fuzzy. Hey how can you expect anyone to think straight when the clocks are melting and pomegranates are exploding with fish that spew tigers? You can’t! You just get on the elephant with the two-storey tall legs and ride that baby to bliss.


It’s not often you get congratulated for being a loser but failing was one of the more fortunate things that could have happened to you. Like all goats you’ll be quick to get up on your feet after you fall and when you find out where you’re standin’ you’ll wish your failure had come even faster.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

Just when you start relaxin’ this weekend you’ll be struck by some insane plan to make the world a better place to live in and it’s silly enough that it just might work. But since you know it’ll work only if you do you’ll start straight away when what you really need is to recharge with a few days of decadence. You need to learn to save yourself before you can save the planet.


Before makin’ a grab for those goodies ask yourself if you really need ’em. Chances are deep down inside not only do you know if you really need ’em or not but you also know what you really need — period. Eve coulda asked herself that question but instead she started hangin’ out with snakes took a bite out of a bad apple and there went the whole neighbourhood. Want yours to go next?


Bein’ what they call a cardinal sign you’re really good at startin’ things. Finishin’ ’em however just don’t seem to be your bag. Well you should try makin’ it yours this week ’cause what you started will be unbelievably big. Then again so will the incubation period. Not to worry. The longer the wait the sweeter the taste!


The funny thing about being a bull is sometimes you can really get into it. Somebody may put a yoke around your neck and make you work like heck but you’re only working land that will provide you with something to eat later on. And as any Taurus can tell ya — food good!

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.