CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)
You Cancers can care too much. So when a buddy disappoints you this week you’ll naturally stick with ’em anyway. Normally that’s a noble trait but in this case you’d be better off comin’ to the conclusion that you were crazy to continue with the cad.
LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)
If you’re thinkin’ of startin’ somethin soon best wait for next week’s new moon. Since it happens in your sign that’ll be the perfect time. Keep in mind that a seed needs constant attention if it’s gonna grow so whatever you start unless you plan on watering and weeding it every day it won’t bloom it’ll just decay.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)
They call you Virgo the Virgin because you’re always holding off until you think it’s perfect. Well kiddo you’ve got it as good as it’s gonna get for quite a while. You should consider consummation before you lose what you’ve got right now to frustration!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)
Up down up down. Life’s like that and it bugs the best of us but baby you’re the scales. If bein’ off balance screws you up then the rest of us are really screwed too. Y’see a scale can only show you the way to balance by starting out off-kilter — that’s why you’re a natural for this job.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)
Oh dark god/dess of excess! Your nefarious plan will be successful once you take hold of the reins yourself and steer it to your destination. Just make sure you give it a tune-up first if you don’t want it to stall on the way there.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)
Starting Sunday keep your archer’s eye peeled for prosperity. Seems the moon and Jupiter have heard your prayers and they’ve put together a surprise package that’ll answer ’em. But beware — it’ll be such a subtle little parcel that you may think it ain’t worth your while to open it.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)
You’ve got a mind for moolah and it’s helped you make mucho. Just make sure you keep listenin’ to it. If you listen to your emotions instead you’ll find your wallet’ll be skinnier than the guy in high school who grew 10 centimetres taller over summer vacation but didn’t gain a kilo.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)
Dreamin’ is fine for an air sign but if you really want it you have to do more than ask for it. You’ve got to forget about the way it used to be and the way it is and start acting the way it will be. Then it’s only a matter of time until it actually is. Of course only you Aquarians could actually understand that.
PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)
You’re a water sign and that makes you a natural for goin’ with the flow. In fact you can cash in pretty good by being fluid enough to change with the demands of the market. If you want success however you need to capitalize on your own resources rather than on which way the breeze is blowing around you. Countin’ on the wind is pretty sketchy — just ask any sailor.
ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)
Like the alchemists of old your task this week is to turn lead into gold. Now before you say that’s impossible do some lateral thinkin’ and look at it this way: Turn your lately leaden ass into money by gettin’ off of it and puttin’ it to work!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)
We can always count on good ol’ reliable Taurus to keep goin’ steady on the same route you always travel. Only problem is that since you’re always on the same path the longer you tread it the more bullshit there is on it. Start a new path today while Jupiter and the moon are clearing your way and things won’t be so messy.
GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)
Who thought that when you first sought security it would be so hard to attain? Try an entirely different approach this week and teach yourself how to conquer the world by learning how to conquer yourself first.
You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com
