VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)
Don’t be doin’ none o’ that “get along to go along” stuff this week. You gotta be you! Changing may make you easier to get along with but hello — you’re a Virgo! You’re very discriminating especially when yourself is concerned. If you timidly transform ’cause someone tells you to life will quickly become hell for you!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)
You can have more energy than a nuclear reactor and be smarter than a roomful of physicists but you’ll never build anything that’ll exist beyond the Earth-bound. In order to do that you’re going to have to lose something you’ve recently found. It wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t love it so much!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)
Even though you’re a water sign you’re what astrologers call a “fixed” sign. You’re often compared to an iceberg with nine-tenths of you hidden under the surface. Well ice is like “fixed” water and doesn’t move easily especially when it’s an iceberg. Ask the Titanic. How much destruction do you want to be responsible for?
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)
Some say you’ve got the broadest view of life lookin’ beyond the horizon and far off into the depths of the universe. No wonder you’re trippin’ over your own feet! You’ve gotta take a look at ’em every few steps or else you could fall flat on your face if you don’t see you’ve got an undone lace. Try to find time to tie it up this weekend.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)
You know life has its ups and downs but don’t be a suck about it this week (not that you usually are). It’s just like when you’re working out: The weight comes down on you and you get stronger every time you push it back up. Pretty soon you’ll be totally buff!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)
You Aquarians can be pretty ballistic at the best of times but when you feel like your happiness is hampered — boom ! You go off! The problem is that like most other explosions bystanders get bombarded with burning shrapnel as well. Think about them before you light the fuse.
PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)
C’mon now! Being proficient practical and productive is no way for a Pisces to behave! You’re the dream at the end of the Zodiac day! The imagination that leads the child into play! Deciding to be directed and disciplined would be disastrous for the rest of us. Now go save the world and do something silly!
ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)
You’ve got a hankerin’ for a heapin’ helpin’ o’ honey but instead of asking for the sweet stuff you’ve got it into your skull to be all sneaky-like and steal some. If you do you’re screwed. Just stand up and say “Hey can I have some of that?” Chances are you’ll eat it until you’re fat!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)
When you’re feelin’ gigantically huge like Godzilla it’s real easy to step on people and knock over buildings with your elbows when you turn around. Try to be more like the Friendly Giant. He never stepped on anybody. He just hung around his castle with some puppets.
GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)
Gemini has the ability to see both sides of people events and issues. That’s why you’re not wet with tears when the tide wipes out the sandcastle you’ve been building all day. Who can avoid the cosmic rhythms that pulse away despite whatever we may do? Better to just call it a day and make a better one tomorrow.
CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)
Lately your thinking has been muddied by Earth and water (that’s “practicality and emotions” in Astrology gobbledygook). Take that mud mould it into something and let it bake in the sun for a few days this week. Then you’ll finally have a solid idea about what’s goin’ on!
LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)
By this time next week life will no longer be as you know it. It may take you a bit more time than that to realize how but it changes the moment you make the momentous decision not to mourn for the way things were but to let be born the way things will be. Don’t worry they’ll grow up big and healthy. You’ll see!
