SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21)
Why don’tcha give up ya panty-waisted pencil-necked geek? It’s easier than makin’ the transformation into somethin’ bigger than you are now isn’t it? Of course that is the only way you’re ever gonna get what you really want and you may never have the chance again but hey who cares? It’s not like you want to compromise your autistic integrity is it?
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21)
Y’know sometimes a Sagittarian can broaden not their horizons but their ego instead. In other words you’ve got a big head. That wouldn’t be so bad if your jumbo noggin was full o’ fresh ideas but if you look deep inside you’ll find you’re almost — gasp! — conservative lately. Well that won’t do. You better get out there and try somethin’ new!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19)
Have you ever been to one of those fancy-shmancy cocktail soirees with the jet set? Okay have you ever seen one in movies or on the tube? Ever notice no matter how beautiful and glamorous those rich folks were their joys and problems were basically petty and inconsequential? Well keep chasin’ that buck and you too can be like that whether you catch it or not.
AQUARIUS (JAN 20 — FEB. 18)
The closer you get to the big day the more you romanticize it and blow it outta proportion in your mind. Then ’cause you see it all so clearly (or so you think) you focus in on stuff that doesn’t even exist and might not ever! Holy expectations! Don’t think about it. Just take it one step at a time and everything’s gonna end up fine.
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20)
How’s them arms? A little tired from jugglin’ everything at once? Well that’s what you get for havin’ such a big heart — humans love to heap it all onto you. But how long can this go on? Nobody’s saying you have to drop anything but you could put it down real nice like.
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19)
Lady Luck is smilin’ down on you and seven comes 11! The only problem is everybody at the table saw you win and this ain’t the kind of crowd to let you walk away without losin’ all your new loot back to ’em. So who said anything about walkin’?
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20)
Just ’cause you’ve built an empire don’t mean someone can’t come in and change everything. Check out history. That’s what it’s all about right from page 1. Remember that ’cause if you don’t you’ll just drive yourself cuckoo trying to confront it. Just be content to go with the flow and it’ll work out better than you could ever know!
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)
You may be the jitteriest of the signs but you’re just gonna have to learn to chill while things change around you. Cooler heads prevail so do yourself a favour and don’t let the mercury pop the top on your etheric thermometer. That’d be like walkin’ from the eye of the storm right into the ragin’ winds!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22)
You have oodles of opportunities unfolding around you and any one of them can propel you to success. Problem is you’ve gotta come up with a better plan of attack. With the Moon opposin’ you after the weekend it’s a wicked time for reflection. Spend the start of next week in solitude searching for the solution to your confusion.
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22)
At the start of the week you’ll realize you got exactly what you asked for. “Waitaminnit” you say. “I’ve worked harder than ever before but I make way less! How the hell could that be exactly what I wanted?” Well that’s pretty much what following your heart is all about. And isn’t that what you really desired?
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22)
In the long run it’s plain to see your loss is actually a victory. How can that be? Well it’s primarily due to post-traumatic cognitive reprogramming syndrome. In other words you learn from your mistakes. Either that or you go extinct real fast.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22)
The crisp crunchy and highly flavourful delicacy known as love will only go soggy should it sit on the shelf too long. Your mind may be in more than one place right now but don’t let it forget about your sweet treat. You may not ever be able to forget about it again if you don’t scoop it up before it goes all gooey.
You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.
