CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Trust ain’t a shameful thing so no sense feelin’ like a sucker since you “let yourself” get stabbed in the back. You’ll find a way to make your faith in folks pay soon. Your trust their issues.
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) Your crazy plan will work exactly the way you cook it up. The only thing is you’ve got to start with a clean kitchen first or risk contamination. Use the next week to get hep to the importance of proper prep!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) It’s been 45 years since the hippie invasion and the Summer of Love. What have we learned? Hard to tell but when things get rough this week remember their “all you need is love” schtick. It’ll get you outta that tight spot!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) If you look closely there’s an opportunity in there somewhere… if you’re willin’ to work at it. Why wouldn’t you? The Devil’s got work for idle hands to do so why not do your own instead of his?
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Your overactive imagination is gettin’ in the way of your heart and it’s making things hard on you. This week you need to learn to forget about the past and move on to the present before you ruin a perfectly good future.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) If you’ve got plenty you oughtta consider giving some of it away. Otherwise certain sneaky snakes’ll try to take it all away from you. A touch of generosity will reduce most jealous animosity!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 —JAN. 19) This week will be a different kind of drag as the nitro-burning funny car of fate parks out front of your place. Strap yourself into the shotgun seat of satori and leave the drivin’ to your divinity. You’ll get to your destination for sure but only because it’s your journey too.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) You’ve come to an amicable agreement but it’s somewhat painful on your side. When it hurts most look for some love to help you heal. It’s always there waiting for you whether you see it or not.
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) After much hard work you’ve perfected the great art become one with the universe and overcome your selfish ego. So that must be why you’re reading these crummy horoscopes from some paper you found in the street right?
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Yes when it boils down to it love’s all there really is in this universe. Luckily you’ve got plenty of it and it’s wealth you should flaunt. In fact you’re so rich you can do anything you want!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Now’s one of those times where your procrastination skills come in handy. Don’t dare do a thing until the final answer is given. It may not look too favourable to you but damn it you’ll find a way to make something out of it.
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Too much of the good life has made you as reliable as the “I’ll pull out baby I promise” method of birth control. You better cut back before things get too outta hand and you’re left with major consequences for which you haven’t planned!