Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of Sept 6 2012

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) You’ll be tempted to hit ’em with your Howitzer at the height of hostilities but that wouldn’t be helpful. You might win the battle but not the war. You don’t know the size of their secret weapon and you might not wanna play “I’ll show you mine you show me yours.”

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) There’s one book that can make you successful in both business and love and for it to start working you’ve just gotta crack it open. It might be comforting for you to know this tome is already on your shelf. One day when you stop judging ’em by their covers you might pull it out.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) They say a scorpion when surrounded will sting itself suicidally instead of surrenderin’. The thing is there’s always a way out. You just might find it this weekend if you don’t poison yourself first. And that’s a mighty big “if” ain’t it?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) After what happened last time you’re worried about the possibility everything you’ve built so far will be destroyed. What are you worrying for? Of course it will! Nothing lasts forever not even you. But hey somebody’s gotta build somethin’. Why not you?

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) You’re awfully attracted to what’s happenin’ here but check this phrase you’ve probably heard: “like moth to flame.” Better fly a holding pattern till the heat is off or else it could end up being lights out for you!

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Why so glum chum? Sure things ain’t the way they once were back in the good ol’ days when you so loved what they was. But a rolling stone gathers no moss and baby you roll with the best of ’em!

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) Oh woe is you! This cruel world won’t let you be and you can take it no longer. How to free oneself from the accursed bonds shackling us to this mortal coil? Uh… do what you came here to do? Once you’re done you can go just like the rest o’ the rat race. Y’see the more things change the more they stay the same.

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) You’re on top of your game you know what’s goin’ on and you got the strength to swing it. Chances are though you’ll screw it up anyway if you try to work it this weekend. Why? Well sometimes it don’t matter how big you are you ain’t gettin’ through that door until it opens. And it ain’t open now.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) If you don’t get off your lazy butt this week it’ll soon be up the creek. No matter how hard you paddle (if you’ve even got paddles) there’ll be nothing you can do. You may get some luck but only if you make your own with some hard work this weekend while the Moon is in your sign.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) If you get what you give and you’re the sum of all the choices you’ve made then what are you whining for? You asked for it you got it. You can get rid of it but it’ll cost you. How much? Well how much you got?

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) If you set yourself up to react to others then obviously whatever they do will affect you. Duh! But if you don’t give a rat’s ass ’cause you know what you want what you’re doin’ and where you’re goin’ then they can’t really mess with you. Can they?

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) It never fails. You get to the point where it’s all startin’ to run smoothly and the universe decides to change the rules on you. Are you gonna just sit and take that crap? Hell no! Screw the damn universe! Make your own rules! At least that way you’ve got a chance to win.