Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of Oct 25 2012

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) As much as you feel it sometimes you’re neither invisible nor untouchable. In fact you’re super susceptible to sabotage and might want to stay solitary this week especially around Samhain.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) How could you ever be unhappy when you’re following your heart? You could step all over someone else’s while doing so. That stuff’ll come back to haunt you.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) Jumpin’ Jehosaphat! Nothin’s workin’! You toil you tolerate you take it in the teeth and what happens? Zilch! Well blame some of it on the moon’s malevolence and wait for it to wane which it will after the weekend.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Some spoiled brat’ll stick their hand in your cookie jar before the weekend. Not only are they gonna take all the cookies but they’re gonna smash the jar too. It’s cool though. To be honest they were only makin’ you fatter anyway.

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) It’s like the Stampede midway and you’re playin’ that balloon-poppin’ dart game. The mullet-maned carny keeps convincin’ you to drop your dough as one by one you pop the balloons only to find there’s no prize inside. Sorry to say but one of ’em actually has one. Will you run outta loonies before you find it?

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Ever see Invasion of the Body Snatchers ? Well someone you know ain’t what they seem to be and they’re plannin’ on takin’ over everything. There is hope though. If you nip it in the bud by the time the week’s underway you’ll never have to worry about being turned into some kinda freak dog with a human head.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) You may think everything’s okay but wake up! It ain’t. Get the stars outta your eyes before they start spinnin’ ’round your head. Y’know like they do in the cartoons when somebody gets an anvil dropped on ’em.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Get outta the dumps chump. If you could take your eyes offa your feet you’d realize that while you’re standing in garbage now you’re a very short trip from where you wanna be.

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Cancer may be one of the most nurturing caring and parental signs of the whole Zodiac but enough’s enough! Sometimes you gotta use tough love and now is one of them. Even if it’s figuratively and not literally this week you’ll get to spank someone!

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) Good ol’ opportunity’ll knock this weekend and normally the advice would be to let that cat in and swing like a ’70s suburb. But y’see this time you’ve already got a groovy thing goin’ down at your pad. Do you really need a party crasher?

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) There’s good news and bad news. The good news is you’ll have more chances to knock boots this weekend than Magic Johnson. The bad news is like him you’ll realize the trouble that it can cause. Ignorance is only bliss until you learn too late.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) Sorry but there’s no way your prediction for next week can be fully printed here. It would only make the other signs too jealous. Let’s just say you were right all along and you’re gonna get what’s due. Try not to spend it all in one place huh?