Tomb
Cool documentaries about bad movies
Julie Salamon’s 1992 book The Devil’s Candy is a fascinating story about the making of what turned out to be a terrible film. Salamon was given the chance to chronicle the shooting of Brian De Palma’s The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990) not suspecting how many bad decisions and catastrophes were about to occur on the set. It makes for an amazing page-turner giving readers a tantalizing glimpse into the way bad movies get made. The process of bad filmmaking is also the subject of some pretty amazing documentary films such as:
• Popatopolis (2009) . Jim Wynorski is a director who’s probably made more cheesy direct-to-video T&A films than you’ve made sandwiches — ’90s-era video stores had entire shelves of his stuff. Deathstalker II Chopping Mall Scream Queen Hot Tub Party The Lost Empire Vampirella … if the video box showed a hot babe in a bikini fighting a monster there was a pretty good chance you were looking at a Wynorski film. Then the film budgets got even lower and the scripts got even hornier and Wynorski wound up making quickie softcore flicks like The Bare Wench Project (2000) The Hills Have Thighs (2010) and Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders (2011). By the time Clay Westervelt decided to shoot a documentary on the prolific filmmaker Wynorski was getting ready to shoot The Witches of Breastwick (2005) on a three-day shooting schedule. That’s right; he makes an entire film in only three days and thanks to this documentary we get to see it happen.
This is an astounding documentary about barely professional seat-of-the-pants filmmaking. Hey you think it’s easy doing 100 setups a day with a three-man crew and no permits?
• Best Worst Movie (2009) . If you haven’t seen Troll 2 (1989) yet then for heaven’s sake rush out and see it now. It is amazingly bad. Hysterically so. It’s so wonderfully terrible that it’s developed a sizable cult following of fans who gather for raucous midnight screenings of the film hooting with laughter the entire time. Michael Stephenson the child actor who played the young protagonist in Troll 2 has come to terms with the shortcomings of his cinematic debut and has also become fascinated with the unexpected way in which it entertains audiences today. So much so that he shot this splendid documentary in which he rounds up his fellow Troll 2 actors in preparation for a 20th reunion tour of the inept flick.
• Demon Lover Diary (1980) . This rare hard-to-find doc chronicles the making of a cheap exploitation movie ( Demon Lover a.k.a. The Devil Master 1977) and is particularly famous for the ending in which the documentarians run away from gunshots. It’s certainly a startling climax but I think it’s important to stress that “running away from gunshots” is not necessarily the same thing as “getting shot at.” Was the entire panicky flight the result of a simple misunderstanding? Perhaps but that would make for a less exciting documentary wouldn’t it?
• American Movie (1999) . Lovable fuck-up Mark Borchardt recruits his friends and family to film Coven (2000) a low-budget horror short that Borchardt hopes will kickstart his filmmaking career. He is so so under-prepared for the realities of making even a modest little DTV shocker like Coven (which he habitually mispronounces) that we can’t help rooting for him. With his serene buddy Mike in tow Borchardt handles every complication and disappointment with optimism and determination. It’s like watching the guys from Fubar (2002) trying to make a movie. (Small wonder since it’s been said that Terry and Dean were loosely based on Mark and Mike.) This one’s a personal favourite and is highly recommended.
• Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010) . Having made an utterly fantastic documentary on the golden age of Australian exploitation movies (2008’s Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild Untold Story of Ozploitation! ) director Mark Hartley went on to lens this startling documentary on Filipino exploitation cinema. Machete Maidens is by necessity less jubilant and more grim than Not Quite Hollywood simply because of the subject matter. The Filipino movies are just as outrageous and extreme as the Aussie flicks but they are nastier more ineptly made and quite callous towards the health and safety of the participants. (Instead of using sugar glass filmmakers in 1970s Philippines would just toss a stuntman through a real window throw him five bucks and tell him to go to a hospital.) Still this is fascinating stuff punctuated with clips from crazy movies like For Your Height Only (1981) The Big Doll House (1971) and the famous “Blood Island” movies.
