Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of Jan 3 2013

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) If there had to be a time for you to give in to sin now’s the time to begin. The fire of your desire may cook your goose but at least it’ll be a fine-tastin’ feast. Besides once you’ve devoured it it can’t tempt you any longer can it?

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Something’ll disturb your dreamy disposition this week and any deeper slumber will be delayed. Once you rub the sleep from your eyes you’ll see there’s something you should have taken care of a long time ago. Take care of it now or go back to bed and slip into a comfort coma for good.

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) You’re the one laughin’ now! You set it all up the way you wanted and now as a result you scored. Just make sure if you play by your own rules they’re written down somewhere or you could end the game locked away in your own penalty box for a double-major!

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) You’re getting too wrapped up in rules and regulations and the more you cite them the more they smite you. The only way you’re going to be happy this week is to just let it all hang out and do whatever the hell you want. Y’know like an Aries would!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Maybe they’re not interferin’ with you maybe you’re gettin’ in your own way. What if you two tried to conquer the world together? Would you still think they were the barrier to your happiness? Or would you realize you’re just full of your own bull?

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Quit sittin’ around wastin’ everyone’s time — especially your own. You’re gonna have to get your B.M. on or be movin’ on. You better decide this week if and how you want to go on with your life otherwise you’ll spend the rest of it in purgatory.

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Fatigue-shmatigue. Once you decide to put your energy into something useful you’ll wonder where it all came from. As long as you’re lookin’ for something noble like justice you’ll be damn near unstoppable.

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) As much as you hate it rulers have red tape to deal with too so you’ll be jumpin’ through hoops to get what you want this time. Oh quit your bitchin’ it’ll get you what you want and bring peace to your kingdom. Plus some exercise wouldn’t hurt after the holidays now would it?

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) While you might think this is the week of suck your perspective is that of a puny mortal. If you could see the celestial wheels in motion you’d know you were headed in the right direction. But you can’t so do everyone a favour and just keep tellin’ yourself you are. Okay?

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) You’ve mastered your material affairs through meticulous means but your methods won’t manifest a main squeeze. Well methods only make it in a meat-market. Sometimes rules are useless tools and the people who follow them are fools. Make up your own playbook this week!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Now that you’re finished you want to kick back and let loose with the happy juice. There’s something to be said for celebratin’ but de-cerebratin’ is an entirely different thing. Party by all means but don’t quit usin’ your head or your pencil will soon run out of lead!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) You’ll kick ass for sure if you stick to the straight and narrow this week. Don’t worry if things get a li’l sticky later on it’s just a sign from the cosmos that you’re on the right track. If you weren’t why would they be tryin’ to push you off it?