Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of Jan 17 2013

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) As if by magic you’ve got what you wanted and more. It seems weird but it’s like you get whatever you want. Exactly what is it you want anyway? You might want to stop and think about that before you actually get it. Y’know “careful what you wish for” and all that.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) It ain’t quite success… yet. It might never be if you don’t bust your butt. Luckily the sun enterin’ your sign this week’ll be like a bolt from the blue givin’ you a push in the tush. If you’re really clever you can use that power to turn energy into matter — meanin’ moolah!

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) A change is gonna come but the kind of development you’re gettin’ is the projects instead of the suburbs. Make like a fish and don’t sweat it. Gentrification’s inevitable so sooner or later that property value’ll shoot up and you’ll be swimmin’ in success!

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Ask and ye shall receive a lover to whom ye can cleave. But since now there are two and it’s not all about you you’ll probably be tempted to leave. That’s ’cause sometimes you can’t tell the diff between indepen-dence and indepen-dunce.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) It might be a world of shit but you’re on top of the poop pile this week. What better place for the earthiest of Earth signs? Just don’t forget to spread that fertilizer around or else the cosmos’ll send a super pooper-scooper crew to deal with you!

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) If you two can do the work together you’ll find everything will be happenin’. Don’t think that means you can coast though. Keep doin’ the do or otherwise you’ll still find that everything will be happenin’ — just to you instead of for you!

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) You’ve been chiselin’ at that stone for some time and the sculpture you’d envisioned is forming before your eyes. Before you display it remember that the person who puts it on a pedestal can knock it off too. Including and especially you!

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) You may be havin’ a tough time but that ain’t nothin’ compared to what’ll happen if you ask someone to do a favour for you. Especially if their nickname starts with “Fat” or “Big.” So don’t ask and chances are someone’ll help you out without even knowin’ it. Then you won’t owe ’em jack!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) You’re not dull as in dumb you’re dull as in boring. Anyway that’s the message you’re gettin’ this week. Don’t like it? Whaddaya gonna do about it? Well whatever it is you better do it quick before we all fall asleep.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) Scales are used to weigh opposing items so it’s no news you can see both sides of the coin. But you can only bet on one. You’ll find out once and for all this week whether you want to be sweet on ’em or beat on ’em. Heads or tails?

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Too much of a good thing is still too much. If you’ve got too much of anything someone somewhere somehow’ll take it from you usually after you’ve passed the point of no return and aren’t able to live without it. Need to learn that lesson first-hand?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) Immerse yourself in your work this week. Swim in the sea of your service. That’s it though. No friends comin’ over no TV watchin’ no nothin’. Eat work breath work live work. You’ll be thankful you did ’cause it’ll pay off in more ways than one.