Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of April 11 2013

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) With Mercury enterin’ your sign later in the week your slick-talkin’ skills will be at their peak. Still best to rein in your ego ’cause if you prance around like a prima donna the respect folks have for you’ll wilt like flowers in a sauna!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) This weekend the Moon’s in your sign and you’ll be directly hooked up to the divine so pay damn close attention to whatever message may come in over that line. It might seem sorta silly now but someday soon it’s gonna set you up for success — and that ain’t no new agey BS!

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) It’s been a hard road and although you may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel rest assured that all the hard work you’ve done so far’ll bring you there sooner than you think. It’s a good thing too ’cause you’re not exactly known for your patience are you?

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Spring’s the time to tidy up the dead rot in your life as well as your yard. Rake up the scattered thoughts layin’ around and use your pooper-scooper to clean up the crap that’s accumulated recently in your vicinity. It’ll make it much more pleasurable — and safer — to play on your own property!

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) Don’t do somethin’ dopey this week just to prove the point you ain’t no cowardly lion. A show of force could be the wrong course and damage your cred more than pumpin’ it up. This is especially true if an opponent has played you — your respondin’ attack’ll likely be mislaid too!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) Chill a bit on the material side of life. When you put your stake in stuff it’s easier to get stressed out. Try centring your attention on yourself rather than what you possess and you’ll soon figure out what features you’ll have for all time — not just until the next model rolls off the line!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) Havin’ your bubble burst on you is always a big-league bummer. But luckily since you hold the scales of balance you’ll be perfectly aware of the good that comes out of it as well as the bad. Keepin’ your mind on this merit should make it easier to grin and bear it!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Some of our greatest advances were gleaned from booze dope or dreams. The challenge is puttin’ ’em into practice in the cold light of wakeful sobriety. Let the fuzziness wear off before you start changin’ society. Implement the idea when you’re straight or no matter how good the notion what it’ll produce you’ll hate!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) Just ’cause they call you a “fixed” sign don’t mean you can’t change it just means you don’t like it. Heck sometimes you’ve got no choice — like this week. While change can be a drag in this case it’ll turn out all right and it ain’t something you need to fight!

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) You know what’s worth the effort and you’re willin’ to do whatever you need to attain it ’cause it’s well worth it to you. You’ll work your ass off for it try to trade for it and you’ll even go outside of the rules to get it if need be. But have you ever tried just asking for help?

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Followin’ your heart is cool but take care not to cause yourself more work than it’s worth. You can snap up everything you see that’s bright and shiny but all you’ll have to show for the time you toil is a few buck’s worth of pop-can tabs and smoke-pack foil.

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) You’ve been swimmin’ in the same pool for so long and you’re finally noticin’ it’s actually a stagnant slough. Problem is you’re too scared to set out for somethin’ new. Well so was the first fish to find itself on shore — but after it had a whiff of pure fresh oxygen it stuck around for more!