Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of Jan 2 2014

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) Goats are solitary creatures. You pretty much stand on that tiny mountain crag yourself even if another goat is nearby. For the first part of 2014 that mountain’ll be lonely and cold — but before the year’s out you’ll reach the peak and find an ass-load of gold!

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) You ain’t seen as a superior example of stability and consistency but in 2014 there’s one area where this is what you should strive to be: the area where you make your money. Jobs services gigs it doesn’t matter. This year stay on point and your wallet will get fatter!

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) As you know your sign’s symbol is two fish swimmin’ in opposite directions. Well in 2014 that imagery needs some serious correction. That’s ’cause your recent past has been unfortunate and lookin’ back at it’ll only tempt fate to send you more of it.

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Your 2014 is poised to be great… but the success you’ll likely attain’ll bring you some hate. Focus on finances family and very close friends because there’s no message your success sends. It’s just haters who’ll see what they want to see so they can justify their jealousy!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) If you’re the Taurus type who’s all about bank notes you’ll find 2014 fantastic. If you’re focused on the finer things like friends family and food… maybe change teams. This year’ll be one long fight but hey at least the money’ll be all right!

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) 2014 will be as even as you. So yeah not very. There’ll be lots of one-step-forwards-two-steps-back goin’ on in all areas of your life. As long as you don’t give up you’ll be one step ahead at the end of the year so it’s worth it to work through the strife!

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) This year model yourself after the hermit crab. You’ll need all the protection and solitary comfort you can muster since the cosmos’ll be a chops-buster. Close family and close friends will help you get through but outside of them ain’t nobody lookin’ out for you.

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) 2014 is gonna give you plenty to roar proudly about — but avoid bein’ a loud lout. Enjoy the success you’ll have at work and at home but be low key about what you let other folks know. The more your foes pick up in terms of details the more ways in which you could be assailed!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) Seems like a waste of time tellin’ you not to worry ’cause like what else do you do? You’ll wind up much better off not just make it through at the end of the year so why get there with stress worry and fear? Seriously why?

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) Your much-beloved balance will bite you in the backside a bit this year. That’s only ’cause the start’ll be so awesome but like a karmic bank error in your favour the money you have to spend ain’t really yours.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) This year you’ll be awfully glad you dispense with enemies quickly and coldly since you’ve thinned the field and the remainder ain’t actin’ so boldly. Continue workin’ while the few left are lurkin’ but be ready to rend them when they bring themselves to your attention!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) You know the sayin’ “as healthy as a horse?” Yeah well you’re only half a horse. While this year should see no major issues happen to you they’ll most likely be health-based if they do. Put the focus there first and in 2014 you should be able to avoid the worst!