CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) All cosy ’n’ rosy in your ivory tower? That’ll happen when you get too used to power. Buddha had no clue how crappy life could be till he ditched his palace to walk aimlessly. This week your small sacrifices are no reason to start freakin’ ’cause they don’t take much — relatively speakin’!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) When you’re feelin’ kinda faint it’s a sure sign you ain’t got much left to give. It’s fine ’n’ dandy to be helpful ’n’ handy but if you wanna live you’ve gotta start puttin’ a tourniquet on your bleedin’ heart. This week shovel your neighbour’s walk if you must — but not if it means your back’ll bust!
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) Despite appearances fair play ain’t bein’ ignored Justice is standin’ on the sidelines with her sword. As long as you haven’t been the proverbial dog in the manger you ain’t in no type of karmic danger. This week observe all the rules when you play and the lucky breaks’ll come your way!
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Your kung fu grip is startin’ to slip so it’s time to get hip on the mixed martial arts tip. First and foremost don’t use your force first on a foe — use their force against them by directing its flow. This week wait for the attack turn it around and send it right back!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Don’t underestimate the magnetic attraction of an earth sign ’cause you are chock full of gravitational pull. Currently your tractor beam is bringin’ you success in your scheme. However this week beware ’cause you’ll also attract those who’ll dare to stab you in the back!
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) “By any means necessary” can lead you into situations that are very hairy. The means ain’t always justified by the end even more so if it means screwin’ over a friend. This week your next steps’ll be much clearer after a good long look in the mirror!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) When your back’s against the wall who you gonna call? If all you had for an answer was “Ghostbusters” you’re in a bigger bind than you believe. That’s ’cause this week no amount of persistence’ll get you half as far as askin’ a real friend for their assistance!
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) So you got nine lives. Been keepin’ count? Gettin’ a feelin’ them numbers are startin’ to mount? You may have always landed on your feet but that ain’t no guarantee you can’t be beat. This week the more you’re humble the less distance you’ll fall if you stumble!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) You and your skills are like an old married pair. You hardly try anymore ’cause you know they’re always there. Of course the longer you let them go stale the greater the chance in a crisis your union’ll fail. This week rekindle the flame or when your skills don’t cut it you’ll have yourself to blame!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) Before goin’ off half-cocked stick yourself in a room and make sure it’s locked. Countin’ to 10 ain’t gonna cut it you’ve gotta find a door walk through and then shut it. This week you’ll only attain real satisfaction with thorough thinkin’ not a knee-jerk reaction!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) What happened to the self-centred son of a gun who thought they were the only thing under the sun? You done become like one o’ them pollsters who won’t draw without askin’ politely if you can pull your piece from your holster. This week work on reducin’ the gulf between the way you are now and bein’ a lone wolf!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) If you’re the visionary then it’s kinda scary you currently can’t seem to see past your proboscis. Livin’ for the moment may be a blast but when you have no plans for the future you wind up livin’ in the past. This week it ain’t time to stop ’cause you’re only near not at the top!
