Cruisin’ the Cosmos – week of Jan 23 2014

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Yeah you can perch yourself high on a philosophical roof and stay aloof above the riff-raff rabble and goofs. But as victory goes that pretty much blows ’cause you’re basically runnin’ away. With the sun in your sign your mission is crystal: it’s time to jump into the fray with both hands on your pistols!

PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) Here’s some finned friends you might wanna emulate to get what you desire before it’s too late: sharks barracudas and piranhas. Most of all the deep-sea dwellin’ angler fish. This week the sea you’ll swim in’ll be rough — so time for you to get tough!

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) You’ve put up a good fight and though you might not win there’s no need for cryin’ ’cause it won’t be due to a lack o’ your tryin’. Sometimes when you cut ’n’ run the outcome is the same as if you had won. That’s why as the showdown nears you can be successful by keepin’ your escape route all clear!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) This week is the part of the game where you try savin’ your true love from your enemy against insurmountable odds and level bosses ready to kick your butt real bad. Remember when you finally arrive at the lair/castle/lab/base and get an ass kickin’ lay still till your foe starts strokin’ their own ego — then jump up ’n’ stick ’em!

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) It’s a good thing you’re the twins ’cause you’ll need your dual identities to duet in a duel of self-defence against dastardly deeds. That’s what happens when you’re the best — the cosmos sends you a real test. Don’t worry there’s no reason to freak — as long as you watch your front and back this week!

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Just ’cause you’re a water sign is no excuse for your brain bein’ sloshy from lack of use or to act wishy-washy to protect your caboose. Has it been so long since you’ve used the force that can flatten mountains standin’ in your course? That carves canyons and turns rivers to seas? Use it this week and you can do whatever you please!

LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) Lately life’s been a bit hard and you’re startin’ to forget how to lower your guard. Well you may not be able to teach old dogs new tricks but you’re a cat so you’re much smarter than that. This week instead of raisin’ your hackles and bein’ defensive relax a bit and live ’n’ let live!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) As an earth sign you should naturally know how cycles go. This week if you sense a slowdown there’s no need to fear ’cause you’re actually shiftin’ to a higher gear. Just make sure when you’re workin’ the pedals that you use a soft touch or you’ll be in danger of burnin’ your clutch!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) The Sword o’ Justice carries great responsibility along with its power as you shall very soon see. That’s why you have to be careful when evenin’ the score — instead of forestallin’ injustice you might end up makin’ more. This week don’t let power rule you — when it comes time to use it a li’l dab’ll do you!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) In the weeks ahead leading up to spring your thing should be sewin’ up loose threads makin’ your bed and bakin’ a new loaf of bread. Now this advice from the oracle is strictly metaphorical but you get the gist. Clean up now or opportunities on their way could be missed!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) It’s okay to be the dreamer type but not if you believe your own hype. Your vision won’t likely come to fruition just by meditatin’ in a yogic position. Nope you’ve gotta create the conditions for it to actually appear and that’s what you should be workin’ on here!

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) There ain’t another word as misused or abused or that has so many confused as the four letters l-o-v-e. One thing that ain’t so hazy is everyone agrees love makes you dumb crazy. With Venus still in retro you’ll get a gleanin’ of the true meanin’ of that syllable when it makes you do things that are illogical!