PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) Sometimes your school won’t take your suggestion about where y’all oughtta be goin’ even if it’s a better stream you’re showin’. That’s why you need to act more like your cousin the water snake. So you’re an eel. So what of it? Love it. If you want your direction to win as this new moon begins ditch the fins and be as sneaky as it takes!
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Forget David and Goliath escape is often where your best interests lieth. Life ain’t always a fairy tale that ends happily ever after and sometimes slingin’ rocks at giants only incurs their laughter. Whether you’re big or whether you’re small this ain’t the week to pick a fight with city hall!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) This week’s a good time to bone up on your Mark Twain since you’re soon to be on either the receivin’ or givin’ end of the ol’ Tom Sawyer scam. Hopefully now that you’ve read this and are down with the program it’ll be the former and not the latter. Otherwise wear some clothes that can get splattered!
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Be very wary after the weekend and avoid makin’ any purchases agreements or decisions ’cause they won’t work out your way. The Moon’ll make you an easy mark like a fruit ripe to be plucked. Be careful when dealin’ with folks if you don’t wanna get fooled!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Noticed of late that friends have begun to evaporate? Like the blues standard goes nobody knows you when you’re down and out. That still ain’t no reason to pout ’cause at least you know which friends you don’t have to doubt — the ones who continue to call even when you have no flash stash or cash at all!
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) The tables seem to have turned and you’re no longer a rodent-chasin’ cat you’re the one caught in the corner like the proverbial rat. Well that rat wouldn’t just stand there and neither should you — a quick look around’ll show you just what to do. While you’re stuck playin’ the rat’s role you can escape through even the tiniest of holes!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) Before you nestle into a comfortable place you should know that treaties don’t end the arms race. They only drive them underground for a while to buy each side time to build a secret stockpile. You should be warned: This ain’t the calm before or after but between the storms!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) The key to conquerin’ is economics. Have a city under siege? Cut off the food supply. Tough competition? Buy ’em out. Sports? Purchase the best players and equipment. In other words where there’s a bill there’s a way. Right now you should be focusin’ on puttin’ piles of them bills away for a rainy day!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Willin’ to risk your life for your country? That’s patriotic. For your family and home? That’s heroic. How ’bout your wallet? That’s straight up idiotic. This week don’t get dragged into a pissin’ match with a skunk especially over nothin’ more than tomorrow’s junk!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) Like Butch Sundance your past is nippin’ at the seat of your pants and now you’re on the edge of a cliff with a creek far below. And you find out that Sundance can’t swim. Sure the river’s movin’ mighty fast but you ain’t got no other option than to jump right on in!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) So you finally got what you were after. Well duh. For a workhorse like you who won’t give up winnin’ the war ain’t surprisin’ nor is it the part that’s hard. What’s most difficult is keepin’ the territory you’ve conquered so far. Once you set up a fortress to protect it you can’t ever let down your guard!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) The fact you can’t get your requisitions through doesn’t have much to do with you. If you really wanna know where things are at it’s ’cause some of your superiors are havin’ a spat. One’s obstinate and domineerin’ while the other’s completely consumed by their careerin’. If you can figure a way they can make the peace it’ll be your gears that’ll get the most grease!
