It’s Album Time ends with “Inspector Norse” — Terje Olsen’s 2012 Italo disco insta-classic — and it’s a sheepish admission: “I know this hasn’t been great.” There’s a good new (but over too soon) version of last year’s “Strandbar” that transitions into standout “Delorean Dynamite.” Other parts sound like a joke: goofy takes on genres I only know from Casio presets. Then at the centre Bryan Ferry sings Robert Palmer.
“Johnny and Mary” singles itself out: Roxy Music alumnus smooth synth-pop production lyrics — everything I don’t need from a dance record. It’s Album Time isn’t really club-appropriate. Maybe it’s tailored for resorts but it would slip even easier into a post- Myst exploration game with limited polygons and shitty collision detection. It’s a fantasy record for meandering down imaginary beaches with a metal-detector through lost-in-time leisure-suited paradises where car doors open in weird directions and everyone’s got even tans.
Terje is never actually bad. Just like video game music is designed to be heard ad nauseam Terje avoids any grit that might offend in any way but there’s nothing to grab either. Sometimes after dancing you throw up.