TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Back in the day the Bullgod used to be divinity numero uno. People prayed to the procreative powers and pastoral plenitude your sign represents. Well the sooner you deduce how to tap the same deity-like power too the sooner it’ll start working for you! Say sometime next weekish?
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Gee whiz Gemini your mental gears have been grindin’ so much your emotions are startin’ to short out and your heart’s out of touch. This week look for ways to let your heart absorb some emotional rays. It’s good to feel hate pain and sadness; it’s refusin’ to feel ’em that leads to big-time badness!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Good news crab-cakes! This week will serve as an affirmation of philosophy that L-O-V-E is the best solution to our evolution and the troubles we face as a species. Whether at a cosmic or personal level the proof will be clear — love can conquer even more than hate and fear!
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) The Cosmos gives as it takes away so there’s always a price to pay when things start goin’ your way. Like a 10 per cent tithe though it really ain’t that steep since 90 per cent is what you get to keep. Instead of worrying about the sting think of the goodies this down-payment will bring!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) If you wanna make an omelette you’ve gotta break eggs — even if it you know you’re one of the eggs in question. This week try something exotic ’n’ weird especially if it was previously feared. You’ll find when you break out of your shell you mix nicely with others and taste swell as well!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) You’re pretty darn swift but sometimes the situation calls for stamina not just small short bursts of speed. That’s why you oughtta take heed and realize you need patience once you’ve planted a seed. Don’t abandon the kernel you’ve sown ’cause before you know it it’ll start growin’!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) In times of trouble turmoil ’n’ stress we learn to adapt and do more with less. That’s ’cause economic restrictions tend to ease the ones imposed by philosophies allowing ideas to blow free in the breeze. This weekend necessity will mother your inventions and the Cosmos’ll feed them if they’re born of good intentions!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) The trouble with bein’ King or Queen o’ the Hill is even when they clearly see your supremacy contenders come to challenge you still. Like the quickest draw in the West you’ll get no rest while you’re the best. This week don’t let down your guard ’cause their playin’ for keeps — and playin’ hard!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) Before you think all hope is gone remember it’s a marathon. When it comes to your ranking you don’t need to care — remember the story of the tortoise ’n’ hare. Your heart’s in the right place and as long as you keep up this pace you’ll have no problem winning this particular race!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) This week it’ll be like nuclear fission has occurred in the atoms that make up your ambition. That’s ’cause whatever was holding you back has cracked ’n’ split and now you’re ready to get on with it. There’s no need to hold onto the past ’cause soon you’ll really be having a blast!
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) You can be deeply affected by your environment ’cause water signs resonate and sometimes frankly it ain’t all that great. Like when you’re stuck in a pool of stagnation and start to lack inspiration. This week you’ll swim in the energy of someone who makes you feel free to be what you wanna be!
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) The world’s livin’ a lesson that’s crystal clear about a small group wanting everyone else to adhere to the narrow set of ideas they hold dear. Now you may be right and willin’ to fight but the difference between defendin’ and attackin’ is day and night. Unless you’re under direct threat any attack’ll mean you’ll lose the bet!