The inspired idiocy of Les Lapins Crétins a.k.a. Rabbids Invasion

I am sitting slack-jawed and dull-eyed in front of the television watching the utterly moronic antics of a bunch of CGI-animated bunnies. Not cute bunnies — no these creatures might have long ears and buck teeth but that is where the resemblance to all other bunnies ends. These bunnies have been abstracted to the point of grotesqueness and resemble absolutely nothing on Earth.

Their antics aren’t cute either. They are fascinated by plungers and toilet brushes and other implements that should never ever be applied to one’s own face; certainly not as frequently as these guys do it. The bulgy-eyed freaks howl with delight as they find new ways to hurt themselves. They laugh at each other’s pain but laugh even harder at their own. The world is completely mysterious and new to them but the only “lessons” they learn are things like “push that lever — it’ll make that machine shoot a tennis ball at Larry and that is funny.” Their language consists of a single word — a shouted “BWAAAAAAAHHH!!!” which pretty much means what you think it means. (Go ahead — say “BWAAAAAAAHHH!!!” really loud and see what thoughts enter your mind. None at all you say? That is correct.)

The show is called Rabbids Invasion (2013) and I am embarrassed to admit that it fascinates me. It’s bad enough that I’m watching a children’s show but here I’ve actually managed to find the stupidest characters I’ll likely ever encounter. Of course calling them “characters” is a stretch since they all look sound and act identical. Oh wait — one of them has two different-coloured eyes so yes I suppose there’s a diverse assortment of richly nuanced characters all of whom are noisy buffoons.

Weirdly enough I recognize these bunnies from another medium. The “Rabbids” are supporting characters in a bunch of Rayman video games starting with Rayman Raving Rabbids back in 2006 and appearing in about one new game a year ever since. The Rabbids became so popular that game developer Ubisoft eventually dropped Rayman out of his own franchise just to focus on the cretinous bunnies’ antics. (Incidentally the French name for the Rabbids is Les Lapins Crétins which sums them up nicely.)

Non-Rabbid characters turn up from time to time mostly to be victimized by the Rabbids’ gleeful shenanigans. I particularly like the two research scientists who try to study the Rabbids’ behaviour and wind up slapping their foreheads in dismay — a lot.

Rabbids Invasion is currently made up of 78 different seven-minute short films with three of these shorts making up a single half-hour television episode. Only the human characters speak and since human characters don’t show up at all sometimes a lot of episodes play like silent comedies with plenty of slapstick violence and wanton destruction.

So it’s a bit like The Three Stooges a bit like Mr. Bean and a bit like… okay a lot like the Minions from the Despicable Me films. In fact it’s fair to say that the Rabbids are just like the Minions only psychotic and much much stupider. That’s probably why the Rabbids appeal to kids. “Ha ha! Mommy what are those dumb bunny-rabbit things supposed to be?” “What; those noisy selfish destructive little creatures with no common sense or understanding of the world? They’re you Brandon! You and every other little snot-nosed punk your age! Can’t you see? You were brought into this world by a defective condom and now you’re determined to crush your parents’ lives and dreams while laughing like a maniac and trying to flush your little sister down the toilet!” “Um… what?” “Nothing darling. Go back to watching your cartoon.”