LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) What you’re gettin’ right now is like a cupcake without icing — it’s yummy but not quite perfect. Now bein’ a Libra you’ll happily eat it that way. But if you had a choice wouldn’t you rather have some icing on it? Well you do. At the end of this week it’s your new moon and you’ll get to enjoy your icing — you can even lick the spoon!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) You’ve done a wonderful job holdin’ down the fort but it makes you as excitin’ as a narcoleptic OD’ing on St. John’s Wort. All work and no play makes a dull Jack. You can’t take it with you and you don’t get time spent back. This week spend a li’l less of it thinkin’ ’bout bills and a li’l more chasin’ some thrills!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) Normally you fire signs follow every impulse you can but at this particular time that ain’t a primo plan. Things have changed in more ways than one and now certain tasks must be done regardless whether you think they’re fun. Most important is coverin’ your ass not just because most of you is a horse’s but ’cause you can’t predict what’ll come to pass!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) All you goats can go ahead and get your ya-yas out over the next two weeks without worryin’ about whether or not it’s the right thing to do. Just look at it like it’s a karmic vacation. Sure at the end of it you’ll have to go back to work but for the next 14 days there ain’t much you can’t shirk!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) The longer you’re hot under the collar ’cause you waited too long to let out some steam the more likely it is that you’ll holler which’ll come out as an ear-piercin’ scream that’ll burn someone nearby. That’s why this week when you can’t let somethin’ ride you’re better off spoutin’ off not bottlin’ it all up inside!
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) Pisces is the sign of spiritual transformation and there’s no mistakin’ you’re at your peak when you’re challenge-embracin’. So when this particular contest is complete you’ve gotta fight the urge to rest your laurels on this feat. The first thing you need to do is find yet another test to beat!
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) You can expect a li’l turbulence over the next few days but you shouldn’t be so shook up that you’ll be left in a daze. In fact if you just focus your attention on the business at hand you won’t notice anything until you land. You’re always flyin’ friendly skies as long as you keep your eye on the prize!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Whichever authority you get your info from has a vested interest in keepin’ you dumb. Maybe it’s ’cause they want your money or an ego boost but the less truth you know the more they rule the roost. This week don’t place your blind faith in what someone else says in case it’s misinformation!
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Mercury was the fleet-footed feather-ankled FedEx of the gods ferryin’ messages from deity to deity. Maybe that’s how you oughtta be — movin’ around from place to place at a brisk pace might increase your chances of winnin’ the rat race. The best way to get satisfaction in biz is to be where all the action is. Get ready to make many moves next week after Mercury goes direct again!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Opposites attract. It’s a fact and now you’re stuck in the middle of that eternal riddle. So whaddaya do when it happens to you? Well it makes perfect sense you’d want someone who complements your talents since it can make you both stronger. If what you ain’t good at they are you’re both better off by far!
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) Who says morals and ethics have no intrinsic value? You’re livin’ proof that followin’ one’s moral code makes it easier in the long run for that one to walk down the road. Right now you’ve stacked up so much honour on your side that even if you were defeated it wouldn’t dent your pride. Best of all it also makes it a lot harder for you to be denied!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) You’ve done such a dang good job jugglin’ duties over the last li’l while you deserve to wear a big smile. So this week the cosmos is sendin’ you a care package of delectable delights. Careful though. Once you start takin’ bites you may not stop so try not to overindulge or you’ll soon need to battle the bulge!
