FFWD REW

Snack Talk — Nutffles

I bought this chocolate treat on a whim recently. Mostly because the name was so stupid but it also said “almond truffles” on the wrapper. Color me intrigued. It was a mix of low- and hi-brow I just couldn’t resist. Shall I pop in my monocle and throw on a pair of my filthiest sweatpants for this excursion into Mediocreville? No I will just get into this scene like I usually do with a captain’s hat and green tights.

I opened the wrapper and there were four chocolate balls looking nearly identical. They were almost on par with Ferrero Rocher chocolates not only in shape but taste. The chocolate was definitely cheap. The wrapper said “made with Belgian chocolate” although I am sure the Belgians can get away with making garbage chocolates so that isn’t really a big deal. The chocolate was crunchy but in the way Rice Krispies are crunchy.

Because everything seemed so cheap I seemed to throw it all into my mouth much faster than I would with other chocolate bars. This was my way of giving the middle finger to this snack. I don’t know why but I thought this was going to be some sort of dessert fit for a king.

I think the word “truffle” automatically pushes the thought of a certain type of food into a higher category. When truffles or truffle chocolates are added to anything they receive wide admiration but they can also be either underwhelming or a distraction from the main attraction. It’s like the rich dumb kid at school. Sure he always had the best lunches and could eventually drive people around in his cool car but there was no real substance to the guy.

Unfortunately Nutffles don’t even have the cool exterior to the chocolate. The design of the wrapper is even confusing. It isn’t exciting or wacky or even trying to be a sophisticated “adult” chocolate. Who are they trying to rope in with this dumb candy? I guess they got one bozo to chomp on their garbage. Me.

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