Serena Maylon
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Let the ghoul times roll this Halloween ’cause the moon’s in your crypt and she’s diggin’ the scene. Except for one thing. Seems you’ve been wrapped up in yourself for a while and you need to unravel a bit. Shake that mummy’s curse and crawl outta the pit ’cause the “other side” is here — you’re already standin’ in it!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) You’ll have to do a lotta prestidigitatin’ to reap the rewards for which you been waitin’ and it looks like you’re runnin’ low on eye of newt. Of course with hard work you’ll have more luck and your apothecary shortage’ll be moot. If you carry on and do what you want to the ghost of failure won’t come to haunt you!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) Like a werewolf on a full moon an atrocious transformation’ll take you over this week resultin’ in some mighty dangerous cravings. Y’know the kind that’ll break relationships your back or the piggy bank. Be patient and let ’em pass. Better to bite the bullet than get shot with a silver one in the ass!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Might as well throw a sheet over your head on Friday and call yourself Casper. They say ghosts are souls roaming the Earth to regain worldly pleasures once enjoyed in a previous life. Sorta sounds like you lately don’t it? Well you can leave this limbo any time — if you’d only quit tryin’ to revisit the scenes of your crimes!
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) Imagine if there were vampires that instead of blood subsisted on the joy of others. After a while these bliss-suckers’d figure out that the best way to feed themselves is to fatten the entire population with happiness. Then again why bother imagining? That pretty much sums up the Pisces plan for perfection in a nutshell!
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) You wear a mask 365 days of the year. If you wanna do something really weird this ’ween drop all facades for at least a full day this week. Do what you want and say what you might even if it gives those who surround you a fright. You’ll be astounded just how much it feels right!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) If you were onscreen this would be the part of the flick where the audience is yelling at you not to open that door and go in that room lest you meet certain doom. Of course if you listened to ’em the movie would end and you wouldn’t learn anything. Besides you’ve got top billing in this one. You can’t die yet — it’s just begun!
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) This week your life is gonna be a lot like some low-budget slasher flick. Y’know the kind where the guy and the chick are impaled on a stick that pierces both of their bodies while they be doin’ the naughty. Good news is if you can keep your nose sparklin’ clean you’ll be able to evade the killin’ machine!
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Like Doc Frankenstein in a way you too will create life this week. Will you consider the consequences of your actions? Will you reflect upon the feelings and perceptions your creature might experience? Or will your megalomania create a murderous monster bereft of morals? Above all are you ready to face the torch-and-pitchfork brigade for the decisions you’ve made?
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) What’s scarier than a serial killer’s basement lotion collection? Creepier than your second cousin twice removed who lives in a cabin deep in the backwoods? Why it’s love silly! You can’t control it it changes everything and you’ll never understand it even if you ain’t stupid. Want a blood-curdling costume this year? Try goin’ as Cupid!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) What’s the definin’ trait of dolls? They don’t speak up for themselves so you can use ’em however you want to. You can pose ’em dress ’em silly or even do some voodoo. If you’d rather not be used as some sort of pincushion by a witch or a warlock don’t be a dummy or you’re in for a shock!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) WTF! You open your pillowcase and there’s rubber vomit sneeze powder and a whoopie cushion. Apparently there are different ways to interpret “trick or treat.” See what happens when you don’t ask for exactly what you want by adding “smell my feet give me something good to eat”? While Mercury’s still in your sign make sure your request is carefully designed!
